Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Postpone?

I know it's been a while again and that I haven't been offering up very much help lately, but I've had a lot going on and will for the next couple weeks.....so forgive me, please!

We have been consumed by a couple things lately. One being my husbands process at getting a job with ISP and the other my health. I never knew how in depth things were to be accepted into ISP. I expected a background check (he's had that for his current job) but MAN! It's insane. It takes almost a year to complete the process. I even had to have an interview with a Corporal this past week! Not often the potential employee AND his spouse are interviewed lol We should know more this week, hopefully. He has already been given a conditional offer of employment, but must pass several test to keep his position.

As for me and my health, well, it's been fun as usual! I had me pre-op appointment yesterday, and after talking more with my doctor and going over my history once more, he decided to add to my procedure next week. He is going to be using the daVinci device on me, pretty cool, really! Its basically a robot that will be doing the actual slicing and dicing lol, while the doctor controls it from off to the side.

So, my surgery falls right when our PRIDE classes are starting, and things are uncertain at this point as to what extreme they'll be taking and whether or not a second surgery will be following shortly after. My doctor is pretty confident that I have Endometriosis and adhesion's and we won't know how severe until he gets in there. Its possible that a hysterectomy will follow this surgery. While in there, if things look like they can be salvaged, they will also be "injuring" my ovary to help with the PCOS. What they do is drill my ovary and make a bunch of holes into it to regulate things. I'll spare you all the details, but feel free to look it up or ask me if you want to know more ;) With all of this chaos we are considering putting fostering on hold for a little while. Just until we get this all figured out. The last thing we want to do is cause a bunch of stress for our family or anyone who may come into our family. We want to be a safe and stable place when we do get a child(ren) so we feel it's best to probably put things on hold for a little while. If Dan gets this job we may need to relocate too, so there are a lot of "if's" right now. We should know more soon though, so we will slowly figure it all out..I hope!

Once things calm down I will get back into at least providing information and resources for others, because it is still very important to me and I want to get more people involved one way or another ♥

I will keep the blog update as much as I can :)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Slacker ;)

So, it's been several days since my last entry! I do have a pretty good excuse...one is 2 and one is 4! Oh, and then there is the 28yr old too hehehe Then we added a puppy yesterday...nuts I tell you! I hope that everyone had a great New Year's celebration! Anyone make any resolutions? I stopped doing that many years ago as I never stuck to them... Life is just too hard and busy. Instead of making resolutions I just think about things I'd like to accomplish and work on it little by little. No pressure, no expectations. I have a hard enough time sticking to a "to-do" list on a daily basis! There is just so many things that change in life over the course of a year. If you can stick to it, more power to you! I just know I can't and I've accepted it :)

In other news, I head into surgery the beginning of next month :( Yuck! This is my 3rd one since my daughter was born. Hopefully they find something out and I can start to feel better. A hysterectomy may be in my near future, but at this point, I'll do whatever I have to in order to feel some what human again. Nothing like being in pain, feeling pregnant 24/7 (with no beautiful baby in 9 months!) and just feeling so run down that you can't enjoy life to the fullest. Hopefully, that will all change soon!

So, for those of you reading this blog and considering adoption/foster care, did you have time to think about what direction you are considering taking? Not that it has to be set in stone at this point....we changed our minds! Whatever choice you make, know that you are changing lives. Even if you decide this isn't for you, but you want to donate, volunteer, mentor etc. you are making a huge difference and you should be proud of yourself :)

Let's talk about mentoring for a minute. This is such a great option if you aren't ready to fully commit to foster care/adoption or for those who want to help, but aren't able to go all the way. If you are considering becoming a foster/adoptive parent, this gives you a taste of what it will be like. A test drive of sorts ;) For those who really want to get involved but just aren't able to become foster/adoptive parents, this lets you make a difference without as big of a responsibility. You never know, you just may connect with a child and decide to get more involved! Either way, you are bringing a smile to these kids faces, even if only for a couple hours. It can make all the difference! If you are local, you can visit the SNAPS, Inc. website and print off the application, otherwise, you can do a search for your area. Health and Welfare will be able to help as well as any local agencies.

Have any of you ever mentored/volunteered for something like this before? If so, please comment so others can get an idea of what it's like. I'm considering it myself, but need to manage my time with having the two little ones and going through the Foster-Adopt process. I want to help as many as I can, but it's always important not to spread yourself too thin!

I know this entry wasn't all that informative, but I'll be back!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Holidays

So, it's been a couple days since I posted anything... You know how it is with the Holidays :) Speaking of, I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! We celebrated a little early this year because my husband had to work :( The joys of working in law enforcement! We had a lot of fun though. We started it out with taking our kids on a train ride to the "North Pole" where they got to hang out with Mr. and Mrs. Claus as well as an elf. We had snow on the ground, so it made for an even better trip! They got milk and cookies at the North Pole as well as a picture with the jolly couple in their sleigh. I'll try and get some pics up one of these days! We went ahead and had our Christmas the following morning to carry on the "magic" from the train ride. The kids loved their presents (of course) and we all indulged in some yummy orange cinnamon rolls!

On of our favorite gifts this year came from my sister-in-law and her husband. They just had a litter of puppies (boston terrier and pug = Bugs hehe) and they gave us one. His name is Boss and he is the sweetest thing ever! He is still too young to leave mama, so we will be getting him around the 1st week or so of January. We are all so excited :) There will most def. be pics of him in the near future!

I haven't spent a lot of time getting things together the last few days, but will try and be more productive after the Holiday hustle calms down. This week my husband, Dan, gets to stop working the graveyard shift! I can't wait. He's been working the 10:30pm-6:30am for the last 8 months and it's been nuts. My husband doesn't do well when his sleep is messed up, so he hasn't been the happiest person the past 8 months! Sunday he starts his new shift, the day shift, and will now be getting home around 3-3:30pm. It's going to be nice having him home at night and getting to spend the evenings together again :) He also has been given a conditional offer of employment as a state trooper, so he could be changing positions in the future. Hopefully we won't get bumped back to graves! He will be required to do them a couple months a year, but not steady like this past year.

Ok, so back to the main topic here, Foster Care and or adoption and everything that goes with it! Let's talk about the very 1st step. The first thing you need to do once you've decided you'd like to be a part of this process, is decided exactly what area you want to pursue. Do you want to adopt? Do you want to be a foster parent? Or do you want to Foster-Adopt? In order to answer that question, you'll want to understand each "category".

Tonight, let's start with Adoption. First, you will need to decide if you want to adopt a child in the U.S. or another country.

Domestic Adoption - Adopting within the United States
International Adoption - Adopting from another country outside the United States

The next thing you will need to think about is whether you want an Agency Adoption or Independent Adoption.

Agency Adoption - You have two options here:
  • Private Licensed Agency
  • Local Public Agency - This would be adopting from the Foster Care system.
Independent Adoption - This is where you have located a placing parent (someone wanting to put their child up for adoption) yourself or where you work with a lawyer to adopt.

**Each State has its own set of adoption laws, so you will need to verify what types of placements are allowed**

I will leave you to think about those tonight, as they are big decisions! I recommend you do a search for each category to get more information and I will be back to add some more information soon.

This is a long process that can get discouraging, and overwhelming at times, but hang in there! The end result will be worth the time invested :) If you have any questions, comments etc. please don't hesitate to ask. There is so much information that I, of course, won't be able to fully cover, nor do I even know it all, but I hope that I can be of some help! It is a time consuming journey, so I know it's nice to be able to find as much information in one spot as possible.

Until next time!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Introduction

So, I figured I should probably give a little introduction so you get an idea of who we are and why we have started this journey :) After all, that is kind of the point, right?

Ok, so my name is Jeni and I am a SAHM (Stay at home mom) to a 4yr old boy, Paul and a 2yr old girl, Temperance. My husbands name is Dan and he works in law enforcement. We have a cat named Stitch who resides in our garage to deter mice, and will be getting a sweet little puppy named Boss around the 1st week of January. (He's still needing mommy at this point). I have pretty much been a SAHM since my son was born, but did have a short stint working as a Developmental Therapist earlier this year and I sell AVON in my spare time (which isn't much these days!). I do AVON because it allows me to have my own schedule and my kids are always able to be with me if I want. You also can't beat the discounts hehehe I will be continuing the AVON on the side as much as I can to put money towards our Foster journey. So if you ever need anything, and would like to help us help these kids, you can shop my online store at Jeni's AVON Store .

So, onto our decision to Foster :) I have always had a place in my heart that wanted to adopt a child. Even before we had our son, my husband and I talked about it. We also wanted to experience having our own though, so those came first as they are the easiest hehe After the birth of my daughter I had a lot of complications due to retained placental fragments. The on call doctor at the time was in such a hurry to get on with her day that she pulled my placenta right out instead of letting my body do what it does best! I had 3 surgical procedures when my daughter was only 2 months old. Even after the surgeries, my body was not doing what it was supposed to, so I was put on high doses of Estrogen among other things. My body still has not recovered and I still have major issues :( About a year ago I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) The OB at the time didn't feel it had anything to do with my previous issues, but I think it's all just tooooo weird! Anyway, so for those of you who don't know, PCOS causes infertility. However, most women can go on to have successful pregnancies with medication. There are complications that can come with it and a 50% chance of miscarriage, but it is doable. So with that diagnosis and the desire to Adopt, it only made sense to check it out!

Earlier this year that place in my heart to adopt grew bigger and bigger. We didn't plan on having any other kids, after all, we had the perfect set! But I couldn't shake the desire to help a child in need. So began the process of looking into adoption. At first, adoption was all we were looking at, but as I researched the process and saw information on Fostering and Foster-Adopt (fostering to adopt) I started to feel Fostering was what we were meant to do. So I then began researching Foster Care too. When I learned that you could foster a child and have the option to adopt them should their parental rights be terminated, I felt Foster-Adopt was the perfect option. I will provide more details on the steps you need to take to Adopt, Foster or Foster-Adopt later, but for now I'll leave it at that :)

So here we are, waiting to finish the process and get our license. If all goes well, we will be done early next year and could have our first placement soon after. We initially decided we wanted to work with kids 0-6yrs old, but recently we've been really talking and praying about other age groups as well. There is a lot to consider, even more so when you have younger children in your home, so we'll really need to think about it and pray. We want to help as many kids as we can, but we have the responsibility of keeping our kids safe as well. More on that later ;)

Well, I think I'll stop here. My two kids are running wild through the house and wanting my attention :) Thanks for stopping by and feel free to comment and/or ask questions along the way! I've only just started, so rest assured that I will get into more details on the process. In the meantime, please consider donating this Holiday season to those who have no one to turn to. Check your local listings for Foster organizations for more information. If you are local you can contact SNAPS, Inc. They are currently needing Winter Pajama's for teens, school supplies, fleece throws, socks in teen sizes, undergarments in teen sizes, hygiene supplies and large duffel bags. Of course, you can donate in other ways as well :) You can check out their website at SNAPS, Inc. Thank you in advance for you generosity and support for these special kids!

Goodnight all!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The truth behind Foster Care

Foster Care.... I think it's safe to say most have heard of it, but how many people actually understand the process? How many have a warped view of the system? How many people have wanted to get involved either by becoming a foster parent or volunteering their time or resources? How many people grasp the severity and shortage of good foster homes?

There is a lot of bad rap out there regarding foster care and I would like to help bring to light the greatness instead. Now I am far from an expert and still in the beginning stages myself, but have a very strong passion for foster care and feel the Lord has placed it on my heart. I hope to inspire others to consider fostering, adopting, donating or even volunteering their time for this great cause.

There are of course so many different reasons why people chose to foster or adopt a child(ren). Be it infertility, a big heart or simply wanting to add to your family while helping a child without one at the same time. I know some of you might also be thinking "for the money", but that is one of the misconceptions I would like to talk about later. There are people out their abusing the system, as with any others, but it really isn't as glamorous or profitable as some may think. Yes, you get a stipend when you foster or adopt and yes you get more financial assistance when you agree to care for a child with disabilities or medical conditions, but let me tell you that it simply is NOT enough to cover every day expenses alone. Foster families WILL be spending some of their own money to care for these kids. I will go into more detail on that later.

I will end this blog entry here for now so as not to completely bore or scare away any potential readers :) Future posts will consist of my family’s personal journey becoming a licensed Foster Home, foster care facts, resources and anything else that may be helpful for others to better understand the foster care system. I will also go over the steps to take to start the process yourself. I will of course throw in odd ball topics every now and then I'm sure :) Until then, thanks for stopping by and please share this blog with others! I want to get the word out and help as many kids find a loving home as possible, even if only temporary. All it takes is one positive role model to change the course of these kids’ lives. Show them that they are in fact loved, wanted, needed and cherished. We are all Gods children and he has a plan for each and every one of us. You may be surprised at just how much these kids can and will touch your lives as well!

Until next time!